ungrateful bastards

Houston socialite Joanne Herring tells Congressman Charlie Wilson to "go to Pakistan and meet with Zia.
Mohammed Zia ul-Haq."


Wilson (surprised and incredulous) -- "He's the President of Pakistan."


-- I've already arranged it....You're going to Israel next week...I want you to tack Pakistan on the end of your trip.


-- (skeptical and doubtful) - And meet with the President?


(Joanne's thinking up how good this can sound and what to say, as she says it) -- Let him -- convince you -- that it's a -- Christian imperative, to let the Afghans rid their country of Communism.


Charlie (firmly) -- Okay.  It's not likely the President of Pakistan is a Christian, but I'm gonna do this for you, Joanne...


------------------------------
After the scene with Russian helicopters enacting their flying battle over Afghans in the sand, the loud marching music abruptly ends, and in the echoing silence you hear a kind of "Aawh -- ooooh!" sound, like someone blowing through a Middle Eastern horn, to announce an arrival.


"Aawh -- ooooh!" it howls again, gently, insistently.





The President of Parkistan





comes out and greets Charlie Wilson.  He speaks English with an accent:


"Mr. Congressman."
"Mr. President."


Zia:  "Come.  Joanne Herring speaks very highly of you."


-- Oh well, thank you sir.  Thank you.


-- These are two of my brightest advisors when it comes to the problem of the Soviets.  This is Brigadier Rashid.


-- How do you do?
-- Pleased to meet you.


-- Colonel Mahmood.
-- How do you do?
-- Pleased to meet you.


They sit.





-- You must be thirsty.  Can we get you a drink?


-- Oh, actually I'd love a glass of ice and any kind of whiskey -- Rye, Canadian...


-- Oh -- uh -- (The pres. looks a little embarrassed) -- I'm sorry Congressman, we don't have alcohol in the Presidential Residence.


-- Of course -- you don't.  I apologize.  Fruit juice?


(Zia speaks Urdu to an attendant)


Wilson -- Bet a lot of people make that mistake.


Zia (chuckling) -- Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh- No.


-- Oh - kay.


==================== As the conversation goes here, the two advisors jump in and begin peppering Congressman Wilson with information ...


Zia -- So you understand the situation on our border?


Wilson -- Yes sir, I think I do.  And I think it's terrible.  And I know I speak for all the people in the Texas Second Congressional District when I say our thoughts and our prayers are with you.


Zia -- All the people of the Texas Second Congressional District, you say?


-- Yes indeed, sir.


[The advisors start in, here]


-- Three million Afghan refugees are living like poorly treated livestock.  Another two million have fled into Iran.


-- And two million more angry men is just what the doctor has ordered for Iran, don't you think?





-- People are dying by the tens of thousands.


-- And the ones that aren't are crossing into Pakistan every day.


Mahmood -- Would you like to know how many?  One fifth of Afghanistan now lives in Pakistan's North-West Frontier Province.


President Zia -- So, what I have been wondering is why your State Department would send someone here who thinks he understands the problem.  Because I don't think the prayers of the Texas Second Congressional District are going to turn the trick.


Charlie -- Well now I wasn't sent here by the State Department, Mr. President.  I was asked to come here by our friend in Houston.  So this is a courtesy call.


-- I don't need courtesy.  I need airplanes, guns and money.
-- Well, we just doubled the CIA budget for covert ops --


-- From 5 million to 10 million.
Wilson -- That's right! (He's like -- come on guys, I'm the one who did a Nice Thing for you...!)


[The two advisors jump in again, terse and intense]


-- Is that a joke?





-- No.
-- Is-that-meant-to-be-a-fun-ny-joke?
-- No, sir!


Zia -- Congressman, what they're saying is, ten million dollars from the U.S., to fight the Russian Army, is --
such a
low
figure --


that it can be mistaken
for-a-joke!


Congressman Wilson looks aggravated, startled, and thoughtful.
 -- Yes, I caught up to the sarcasm there, sir.


------------------------------------

{Charlie Wilson's War.  Mike Nichols - Aaron Sorkin -- 2007 -- book by George Crile}

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