On You Tube,
type in
savior, pass me not, The Swan Silvertones
and play.
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When the news became public on Tuesday that the designer Kate Spade had committed suicide in her Park Avenue apartment, some of the news stories on the Internet allowed Comments, so then people started Commenting, and admonishing each other for Commenting, and piling on: criticizing the deceased person, her relatives, her husband, each other's Comments, Wall Street, and Society. And more.
If websites don't want that, they can just "disable" comments, or not open them.
But it's kind of educational, actually, to see how people think about these things. Because everybody tries to figure things out, and live, and be happy. I wrote here yesterday about Kate Spade's death, and I didn't even mention the factor which is the most likely to cause, or lead to, such an event: depression.
The logical side of my brain understands, from media information, that Depression is something with the brain, where you just have it; it isn't affected by your income level or if you have a nice marriage, nice child, and fun Job in New York City.
Then, the emotional side of my imagination cries out, "But -- but -- FASHION!
But -- PARK AVENUE!
______________________________________
Notes on Kate Spade
-------------------------------
*The Guardian UK wrote, "...She had old-fashioned taste, but a modern eye...a canny combination."
*Kate Spade and her husband Andy basically made the Gigantic Money in six years. (SIX. YEARS. !!) 1993 - 1999. Six years. Of doing work you love. In a city you love. And then sell the business for enough money to --
Have.
Freedom.
From.
Ever.
Having to.
Worry.
About.
Money.
Again.
(But -- depression.)
(I. Know. But...)
*When I read Yahoo site's Comments, I get the feeling it's a younger demographic. And some of them seem to compete, trying to one-up each other on boldness (rudeness) of Comments. So if you get offended, you have to just not-read it.
*Several of the comments pointed out that while Kate Spade New York was sold by the Spades in 2006 to Liz Claiborne for $59 million, a few years later that company sold it to Coach for a couple billion. They commented to the effect -- "I'd be depressed, too!"
*Tuesday, I asked myself, How do I even know the name Kate Spade? Her products do not figure prominently in my life. I don't have any of them. I don't think I've even seen any of her products except in photographs.
Two things I can remember:
1. In the early- or mid-nineties, I read a magazine article about Kate Spade and her designs. Maybe in Vogue.
The impression stayed in my memory, I think, because the style seemed bright and nice, she was from the Midwest, and I wondered, 'how does one person get a deal to do that?' -- and the name was so rat-a-tat musical: easy to remember. Kate Spade. And
2. In an episode of Sex And The City in 2000, (Season 2 or 3), Charlotte refers to "my Kate Spade purse"...
-------------------- [Refinery 29, Connie Wang article] -- ...In that 1999 interview with The NYT, Kate reminisced about how she and Andy finally decided on the name. "Andy kept saying the whole time, 'Kate Spade, Kate Spade -- listen to how it sounds," she recounted.
The paper noted correctly that the name sang. It still does.//
*Her husband was leaving her; for the past 10 months they had lived apart.
In the Wang article it said, -------------- At the end of the slideshow is a handwritten note in which Kate was asked to define what a good life was. She scribbled the answer confidently: "Family & Friends that are honest & loyal."
_________________
A thought:
In life --
Don't let your income depend on idiots; and
Don't let any other human being hold your self-worth and life-worth in their hands.
---------------------------- As one of the Internet Comments said, Don't let someone leaving a relationship ruin your life. If someone wants to go, open the door.
*Many commenters were upset that the designer had left her thirteen-year-old without a mother. Lots of tart-tongued hammering for that aspect. One mother didn't see eye-to-eye with having a first child at the age of 42, typing in, "Almost 60, and raising a teenager? -- no thank you. Can't these people do math?"
_________________________________
Ways To Deal When The You-Know-What Comes Down
(Ideas about how to handle problems or stuff that makes us sad are not probably applicable to people with depression, so I'm not trying to address that. But I think people who do not have clinical depression also sometimes want to improve their happiness, or lower their sadness level, so I was going to mention two strategies, one from me and one from Tina Turner.)
At the end of her iconic autobiography I, Tina, she says something like, 'Whatever is in your life that is making you unhappy, that is bringing you down, get rid of it. Whether it's your job, your car, your place where you live...'
Something like that... "Get rid of it." Get rid of whatever is bringing you down.
And I used to consider this method:
Take pen and paper and write a short sentence, stating the problem.
Then cross off the period at the end of that sentence and add the words, "and so I" ...and then finish the sentence.
Example:
My living space is boring.
My living space is boring, and so I...
My living space was boring, and so I adopted a large black cat.
Example:
My husband was obnoxious to me.
My husband was obnoxious to me, and so I...
My husband was obnoxious to me, and so I went looking for the frying pan.
...(no, just kidding...)
-------------- A person could rewrite that sentence ten times, finishing it different ways, until they come up with a solution, or a direction, that seems right for them and their situation.
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