in Europe we watch in astonishment

 

Q.  Why did the narcissist cross the road?

A.  He thought it was a boundary.

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"Surviving R. Kelly" is on Netflix -- I watched / listened to a lot of it.  It's quite compelling.  Recent history, and people expressing their situations, goals, and emotions.

Girls when they are growing up need to be educated about how to avoid toxic people.  (Would public service announcements help?)

        Spot 'em; neutralize 'em; avoid 'em.

The Washington Post had some articles on this -- some Reader Comments:

^  There will always be a subset of people who lack the necessary combination of critical thinking and empathy required to understand that bad things that do not happen directly to them are still bad things.

[Wow!  I had to go back and read that one again.  Incisive.]

^  OMG...just throw the guy in jail already.... I'm tired of hearing about this....

^  Seems to me that the main reason R Kelly's victims struggled to understand their own situation, let alone have credibility or support in fighting back, is the dynamic of extremely unequal power that gives celebrities the means to break laws and norms while maintaining public deference for years.  

Like Weinstein or the famous British comedian, Jimmy Savile.  

And the more misbehavior they get away with, the more these egotists may come to believe that what they do is OK, or their rewards for success, not harmful, or it's mainly the victims' own fault.

^  I don't think R. Kelly has gotten away with his crimes because his victims are black.  R. Kelly has gotten away with his crimes because he is R. Kelly. Inc.  Lot of powerful people make money off him.

^  The problem is not women!  The problem is that our society doesn't take sexual violence that men commit against women, children, and men seriously.  In fact, our culture tends to blame and shun the victim while standing by the men.  We continue to fail the victims of sex crimes when we produce excuses for such grotesque behavior!

^  R Kelly was protected by The Establishment (black, white, brown, gay, straight, whatever) as long as he was Green, or rather, he kept making Green.  The minute he stopped making Green for those in power, he became disposable.  This is not a problem of Black Women, it's a problem of the less powerful against those in power.  

Look no further than the cases of Harvey Weinstein, Michael Jackson, Jeffrey Epstein, the Catholic Church, etc. to see various groups pushed aside as long as those doing the abusing have money, power, and influence to do so.  It is only when they are in a weakened state - or occasionally other priorities triumph, that they can be brought to account for their crimes.

^  Has the author forgotten about Bill Cosby, where it took more than 40 years and 50-plus accusers before anything was done?  The main issue isn't racism.  It's that people with wealth, power, and fame usually get their way and that women's accusations are more often than not disbelieved if they are  made against a rich and famous man.

^  America:  you are crumbling right underneath yourselves from your relentless, obsessive identity politics.  

R. Kelly was rich and powerful.  

Weinstein was rich and powerful.  

Spacey was rich and powerful.  

Cosby was rich and powerful.  

        How is the R. Kelly story unfolding differently than the others?  It's about power subjugating the voices of those with lesser power.  

You identity-focused people who cannot let go of your defining narrative are helping take the rifts within your political culture and making them chasms that, quite frankly, are becoming increasingly difficult, if not impossible, to bridge.  

In Europe we watch in astonishment at what is happening to your country by those whose self-interest to further their political agendas is greater than the assuagement of tensions that could arise from having a wider, more nuanced lens.

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