I was surprised to see Internet headlines this weekend about Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck getting married in Georgia.
I thought they got married in Las Vegas about a month ago - ?
Well -- I guess they did - ?
And now, again - - - ...
I don't understand getting married twice -- I mean to the same person and in the same time frame.
I mean, it's a different thing when it's two different marriages at two different times -- for example, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton were married twice, but they didn't have two different ceremonies for the same marriage. They had two different ceremonies for two separate marriages: they were married from 1964 to 1974, and then they married again in 1975 and divorced (again) in 1976.
Jennifer Lopez and Ben A. had two different ceremonies for the same marriage -- one in Las Vegas and now this weekend, another one in Georgia.
Didn't one of the Kardashians do that, too? ...Have two marriage ceremonies? Kourtney, maybe?
In the case of the Kardashians, one might imagine having two ceremonies instead of one would be for the extra attention. But for Mr. Affleck & "JLo" it seems doubtful that they would have to have a big expensive "extra" event to get attention.
Maybe it's because it just becomes "the thing" since other people (especially celebrities) have done it, so -- Now we get married twice, whatever.
But to me, having two marriage ceremonies seems kind of -- phony, or show-y, or shallow. As if you're taking away from the seriousness of the commitment. (They probably think they're making it more of a commitment...I don't know...)
------------------------- On a tabloid site, I was reading comments on an article about Jennifer Garner not attending the Georgia wedding, even though she was invited. Lots of comments saying, "I wouldn't attend my ex's wedding! -- what for?!" etc.
That reminded me: In the 1970s after Sonny & Cher got divorced Cher got married again (to one of the Allman Brothers) and Sonny went to her wedding. I remember that being in the news. It was considered very unusual at the time to attend an ex's wedding so it was kind of talked-about and noticed.
People were starting to have the conversation about -- Yes we got divorced and No, we don't hate each other, in fact we're friends. We get along for the sake of our kids. Etc.
That was sort of new at the time, because before that, divorce wasn't nearly as common as it became in the '70s. People -- and society -- were learning how to deal with it.
Within that time frame, The Mary Tyler Moore Show had an episode where Lou Grant's ex-wife Edie was getting married again and she invited Lou Grant to the wedding. He didn't want to go, but one of his daughters begged him to, and Edie wanted him there, to show everyone we're still friends, or something.
But he didn't feel that way about it, and as he was trying to talk himself into going to the wedding, Mary advised him that going to one's ex-wife's wedding was something a modern, hip, with-it man would do. Lou said that's me, modern and hip and with-it. Mary says, "No, Mr. Grant, that's not you, that's Sonny Bono!"
That situation comedy was filmed before a live audience, and they exploded in laughter at that line -- partly because it was related to something everyone had heard in the news, and partly because it was still a revolutionary new idea.
That chapter in our ongoing cultural conversation on this topic reminds me of the news in our own era, from just a few years ago, when Gwyneth Paltrow and her then-husband musician Chris Martin announced they were having a "Conscious Uncoupling." Trying to sort of take the "acrimonious" part, or implication, out of it, by taking away the word "divorce."
Just saying, hey, we don't need to be married now, and we are going forward and each living our own lives now.
-30-
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