you don't have the enzymes

The Lawrence / Julie & Julia Project is an hilarious blog
written by a college student named Lawrence Dai.

Following Julie Powell's pattern
(she cooked her way through Julia Child's cookbook, Mastering The Art of French Cooking, reporting her progress in a blog, spanning a year)
Lawrence Dai
set himself the challenge of watching the movie Julia & Julia (which chronicles Julie P.'s blog & Julia C.'s passion for cooking born in 1950s Paris, France)
every day for a year (!)
and
blogging about it.

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On Day 12 of his blog (December 11, 2010) he put this:
[excerpt, Lawrence Dai's blog]------------Day 12.

Every time I've seen this movie, I've always been endlessly entertained by the scene where Julie Powell's mother calls Julie to berate her about starting the blog. If you haven't seen the film yet, the scene proceeds as follows:



Julie (voiceover): And then I came home and got a big vote of confidence from my mother.
Mom: Remind me why you're doing this...
Julie: Blog.
Mom: Whatever it's called.
Julie: It's a regimen, Mom. Like doing sit-ups.
Mom: Well, it's just adding pressure.
Julie: What pressure?
Mom: You have a full-time job, you have a husband, and now you're going to get sick from blogging.
Julie: It's sort of like being in AA.
Mom: What are you saying?
Julie: It gives you something you have to do every day, one day at a time.
Mom: How do you know this lingo? Honey, are you an alcoholic?
Julie: I'm saying it's good for me to have short-term goals.
Mom: Well, that is silly. That is just plain silly. Who's reading this blog?
Julie: People. People are reading it, I'm sure.
Mom: Well, it's something you decided to do, and you can decide not to, and not one single person's going to mind.
Julie: No, don't you get it? I just started. I can't stop. I have to finish--it's all I've got.
*Mom hangs up the phone*
Julie: Hello? Hello?

I've always laughed at this scene because of its exaggerated theatricality--that is, until my own mother found out about this blog. Let's just say that if they ever make my blogging experience into a movie (which would be a terrible, terrible idea), this particular Julie & Julia scene would be pretty easy to adapt.


Lawrence (voiceover): And then I came back to the dorm -- then I got a f---ing call from my mom.
Mom: You do homework yet?
Lawrence: Nah, I decided to start a blog instead.
Mom: What?
Lawrence: It's a blog, Mom. Like on the internet?
Mom: A what?
Lawrence: A BLOG.
Mom: What is this blog? You have no time for! How can you do this and get good grades, good job, make money?
Lawrence: I don't know, it's just a fun thing--
Mom: Fun? I send you to expensive school so you have fun? You can have all fun you want when you homeless!
Lawrence: I'm sure homeless people have a lot of fun.
Mom: How can you say that? Do you know what you say? Homeless people have no home! How fun is that? Are you alcoholic?
Lawrence: No, Mom. I'm not an alcoholic. You know I don't have the enzymes to even break down alco--
Mom: You don't have the enzymes to honor family either!
Lawrence: What?? What does that even mean?
Mom: Who is reading this blog?
Lawrence: People. People are reading it, I'm sure--middle-aged, married women mostly.
Mom: Well, give up. You need more time to study.
Lawrence: Alright, Mother. Listen, sorry, but I gotta go. Love you. Bye.
*I hang up the phone*
Mom: And what happened to you saying you want to be doctor? I remember--from very young age, you always say you want to be a doctor. Why can't you go to medical school? You know, blog once you're a successful doctor. You have time then, after you make money, marry nice smart girl...
*Dial Tone*
------------------- [end excerpt from Lawrence / Julie & Julia blog.]

"Fun? I send you to expensive school so you have fun?"
--
"You don't have the enzymes to honor family, either!"

LOL

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