slim cats

Grief and disappointment are things I don't enjoy.

I guess most people don't enjoy them -- that's why they're called
"grief"
and
"disappointment,"

and not

"a fun picnic"
and
"a lovely dance."

We all know that we're going to die someday and so are the people we know.  But we don't really "know" it most of the time.  We are thinking about other things, and focusing on living -- before we die.

When it gets to the point in life when there is less space and time in between funerals it begins to feel, at times, a bit as if one were carrying something heavy -- involuntarily -- and one gets impatient sometimes with the inexorable Process -- ("Stop it!  There's no dying!  There's no sadness!  Knock it off!")

And then someone carps a little and you are like -- THWACCK!!, clocking them on the head with something heavy (figuratively speaking, not literally) and then you think, "Mm, maybe that was overkill."

Perhaps I am just a "big baby" about death and sadness.  ("Ah-don-wann-anee!")
I guess that's why we have the formalized customs with religion interwoven in them -- to provide a framework to begin the grieving process for the people most affected and to help the other people have a way of expressing support and to keep us from being "big babies."

At the beginning of the film When Harry Met Sally... they're riding in Sally's car -- (they are college-age students) -- and Harry (Billy Crystal) says, "D'you ever think about death?"
Sally (defensively):  "Ye-es!"  (like she's worried that maybe she doesn't think about it enough...)
Harry:  But it's just a fleeting thought that drifts in and out of the transom of your mind.  I spend hours.  I spend days.
Sally (with impatience):  Well that's doesn't mean you're deep or anything.  I mean yes, basically I'm a happy person!  (pause)
And I don't see that there's anything wrong with that!

Harry:  Course not, you're too busy being happy.  All I'm saying is, When the shit comes down, I'm gonna be ready for it, and -- you're not.  That's all I'm saying.

Sally:  Yes, and meanwhile you're going to ruin your whole life waiting for it...!

--------------------------
My cat, Chess Pacific, whom I love very much, is 19.  That is old for a cat.  With my first cats I had after college, I was in total mental "denial" about the idea that they would ever die.  And when the first one did I was very sad because I was unprepared.  This time my attitude is, I know the reality and understand it insofar as a person can, and meanwhile,
Every day is a gift.
And that's true for people as well as for slim gray cats. 

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