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"The audience takes irresponsible delight in vigorous events."
~ William Shakespeare
One of the reasons why I love the song "Convoy" is because it is jam-packed with words -- colorful descriptions -- catchy turns-of-phrase....
It's sort of the same reason I love the film, Manhattan Murder Mystery -- it is words and conversation, realistic, like real life, where people sometimes cut off, or stammer, or rethink, or talk over each other. It isn't like some films where each character is carefully making a specific speech. With the CAMERA on his face for a close-up....
...Headin' for bear
On I - One - O,
'Bout a mile out of Shakey town
I says, Pig Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck
And I'm about to put the hammer down...
...What do you mean, you snuck into his apartment? Are you nuts?
... You'll end up rooming with John Gotti...
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PAUL
It's funny. I found those glasses under my bed.
CAROL
That's because I must have dropped them and they probably got kicked under.
LARRY
Kicked under, right, because what she'll do, she'll drop...
CAROL
They were just --
LARRY
She'll always drop things and she'll kick them all around the house.
CAROL
They could --
PAUL
The mousse?
He walks away to the kitchen.
LARRY
She's always -- she's always kick...
Carol gives him an intense, meaningful look signaling him to stop rambling.
CAROL
(speaking up, toward the kitchen)
Anyway, I'd love to have some mousse.
LARRY
Yes, really? Remember there was the time you kicked the mousse under the bed in the house. Remember that? It was...
Carol walks away, toward the kitchen.
CAROL
I remember.
LARRY
It took -- took six months to get the...
EXT. A New York street - day
MEDIUM FULL SHOT of Carol, waiting under the awning of a building. She hears a car stopping and she looks toward the street.
TED
(voice over)
Hi. I'm sorry I'm late. The traffic's murder.
CAROL
(hurrying to the car)
I know, but where... Where are we going?
TED
I looked up, looked up Helen Moss in the phone book.
Carol gets into the car, closes door.
CAROL
(voice over from inside the car)
Yeah.
TED
It was just H. Moss.
CAROL
Right.
TED
So I -- it's on Bank Street...
The car drives away.
EXT. Bank Street - day
FULL VIEW of the corner of two very quiet streets. A brick building with vines climbing. CAMERA PANS away from the building to Ted's car parked on the other side of the intersection.
MEDIUM SHOT of the inside of the car, through the open window on the passenger side.
TED
There's her house.
CAROL
Right. So we should just sit here and wait, huh?
TED
Yeah.
CAROL
Okay.
They look at each other and laugh.
Slightly later. MEDIUM SHOT through the windshield. View is a little blurred by daylight reflection on the glass.
TED
Maybe he thought that if he, if he, if he divorced her, she'd -- she'd hit him for a ton of alimony. Or maybe she, maybe she controls the family fortune. What do you think of that?
CAROL
Oh, I don't know. Yeah, maybe we're wrong, Ted. Maybe we're just, you know... I mean, maybe she died of natural causes, like the doctor said, and we're just two people with, you know, hyperactive imaginations, whose lives need a little shot of adrenaline.
Ted looks through the paper bag of snacks he brought.
TED
Does yours? I'll tell you, mine needs something.
__________________________________________
{Manhattan Murder Mystery, 1993. Producer: Robert Greenhut. Directed by Woody Allen. Written by Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman. Starring Alan Alda, Woody Allen, Anjelica Huston, Diane Keaton. Dist.-TriStar Pictures.}
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{Manhattan Murder Mystery}
PAUL
You know, I found your glasses.
CAROL
Mine?
PAUL
These are yours, aren't they?
CAROL
Yes.
LARRY
No.
CAROL
Uh, no. Yeah. Uh... No no no no no. They... They... Oh, God....
She takes the glasses from his hand.
LARRY
No, no, those aren't yours. These are the same, actually. They are, aren't they? These-These-These ones, are.
CAROL
They are actually... They're mine. Honey, they're mine! I... You know what happened? I think the other night, I must have left them here. It's the strangest thing.
PAUL
Did you? I didn't notice that.
CAROL
No, no. Yeah. I know. Because, remember, you were saying that you thought that I left them at your mother's house?
LARRY
At your mother's house.
CAROL
That's right. Of course, so...
She turns toward Paul, who has remained very calm.
PAUL
That mousse looks fabulous.
CAROL
Anyway, it's so good. I love mousse.
PAUL
Thank you very much.
CAROL
Hey, listen, are you looking forward to going snorkeling in the Caribbean?
PAUL
Very much. Very much.
CAROL
Uh huh...
PAUL
It's funny. I found those glasses under my bed.
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Music is a never-ending learning process.
~ Liberace
_______________________________________________
--------------------------------------------
In Manhattan Murder Mystery, after Carol Lipton tells her husband she left her reading glasses in their neighbor's apartment (when she sneaked in while he was away and "tossed" the place, looking for clues), there's a CUT to
INT. Mr. House's doorway
He's letting the two Liptons in; they're bringing him chocolate mousse.
(Sort of like they're getting into a tradition -- 'we bring you a dessert every now and then, you let us in and serve coffee and we all share the dessert and make small talk' -- only this time of course it's -- 'we bring you a dessert and you go in the kitchen to make tea and we hope we can find the pair of reading glasses Carol lost here, before you come back out.')
In this scene, Paul asks them, "Coffee or tea?" and the answer is "Tea" -- probably because they think maybe that will take him longer, so they can have more time to search.
While he's in the kitchen, Carol and Larry are wildly searching (if it's possible to search wildly -- it is...) for her glasses. Hurrying fast, trying to look everyplace the glasses could be, making crazy hand gestures, shooshing each other -- come on! Hurry! Keep it down!... Larry calls toward the kitchen, solicitously, "You all right? Y'need any help in there?" Trying to keep all the balls in the air... keep the bases covered....
INT. Paul's living room - Night
Carol and Larry, stopping their search and looking up as Mr. House enters, gingerly holding the reading glasses in his hand.
PAUL
You know, I found your glasses.
-30-
Yeah, breaker one-nine
This here's the Rubber Duck
You got a copy on me Pig Pen, c'mon?
Uh, yeah, Ten-Four Pig Pen, fer sure, fer sure
By golly it's clean clear to Flag Town, c'mon
Yeah, it's a big Ten-Four there, Pig Pen
Yeah, we definitely got the front door, Good Buddy
Mercy sakes alive, looks like we've got us a convoy
It was the dark of the moon
On the sixth of June
In a Kenworth, pullin' logs
Cabover Pete with a reefer on
And a Jimmy haulin' hogs
We was headin' for bear
On I - One - O,
'Bout a mile out of Shakey Town
I says, Pig Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck
And I'm about to put the hammer down
'Cause we got a little 'ole convoy
Rockin' through the night
Yeah, we got a little 'ole convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight
C'mon and join our Convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this truckin' convoy
'Cross the USA
Con - voy!
Con - voy!
Yeah, breaker Pig Pen, this here's the Duck
And uh, you wanna back off them hogs
Uh, ten-four 'bout five mile or so
Ten-Roger, them hogs is gettin' intense up here
By the time we got into Tulsa Town
We had eighty-five trucks in all
But they's a road block up on the clover leaf
And them bears was wall to wall
Yeah, them smokies was thick as bugs on a bumper
They even had a bear in the air
I says, Callin' all trucks,
This here's the Duck,
We about to go a-huntin' bear
'Cause we got a great big convoy
Rockin' through the night
Yeah, we got a great big convoy
Ain't she a beautiful sight
C'mon and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this truckin' convoy
'Cross the U-S-A
Convoy!
Convoy!
Uh, you wanna give me a ten-nine on that Pig Pen
Uh, negatory Pig Pen you're still too close
Yeah, them hogs is startin' to close up my sinuses
Mercy sakes, you'd better back off another ten
Well we rolled up Interstate forty-four
Like a rocket sled on rails
We tore up all of our swindle sheets
And left 'em settin' on the scales
By the time we hit that Chi-Town
Them bears was a-gettin' smart
They'd brought up some reinforcements
From the Illinois National Guard
There's armored cars and tanks and jeeps
And rigs of every size
Yeah, them chicken coops was full of bears
And choppers filled the skies
Well, we shot the line
We went for broke
With a thousand screamin' trucks
And eleven long-haired Friends of Jesus
In a chartreuse microbus
Yeah, Rubber Duck this's Sod Buster, c'mon there
Yeah, Ten-Four Sod Buster
Listen, you wanna put that microbus
In behind that suicide jockey
Yeah, he's haulin' dynamite
And he needs all the help he can get
Well, we laid a strip for the Jersey Shore
Prepared to cross the line
I could see the bridge was lined with bears
But I didn't have a doggone dime
I says, Pig Pen this here's the Rubber Duck
We just ain't a-gonna pay no toll
So we crashed the gate, doin' 98,
I says, Let them truckers roll,
Ten-Four
'Cause we got a mighty convoy
Rockin' through the night
Yeah, we got a mighty convoy
Ain't she a beautiful sight
C'mon and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this truckin' convoy
'Cross the U-S-A
Convoy
Convoy
Ah, Ten-Four
Pig Pen, what's your Twenty
Omaha
Well, they oughtta know what to do with them hogs out there, fer sure.
Well, mercy sakes, good buddy
We gonna back on outta here
So keep the bugs off yer glass
And the bears off yer ... tail
We'll catch you on the flip flop.
This here's the Rubber Duck on the side
We gone
Bye - bye
---------------------------------------------
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The original version of this iconic song is on You Tube.
title of the video:
"Mcall-convoy (original version)"
uploader:
H8ted by all
The picture on the video is of open highway, with light green grass, and light blue sky.
(There's one flaw in the recording -- after the "crashed the gate doing 98" part, there's a big scratchy sound but it only lasts for like a second, and then it's back to good sound. So don't worry, there's nothing wrong with your computer or your phone.)
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"I hire very good actors, and I don't get in their way."
~ Woody Allen
____________________________________
Comment on You Tube:
Steve Fortuna
------------------ Exactly, why would a ruling elite give anything but the ILLUSION of choice and power to the masses? You can buy 300 types of toothpaste but a nation of 300 million has two corrupt choices for leader of the free world?
How's that working out for us?
We need 5 - 6 - 10 political parties that fragment power and force coalitions to work together to get things done. This makes it much more difficult for the elites to control all the politicians in the system.
Starve the Democratic and Republican parties of votes and establish parties based on specific issues like income equality, environment, peace etc. and the big parties will have to make deals with them to share power. ------------------------
----------------------------------
-30-
The phone rings.
LARRY
Now? That's a possibility.
He picks up the phone.
LARRY
You know, we could, we could do...
(talking into the telephone)
Hello. Yes? Where are you?
CAMERA PANS back to Marcia, sitting on chair, smoking cigarette.
LARRY
Is everything okay? Really? No, I could, sure.
PAN -- back to Larry
LARRY
I could. Yeah. I need-I need, you know, five minutes, or so. Okay. Yes. Yes. I know where it is. Okay, hold on.
LARRY
(hangs up phone)
I can't do it. I have to... My wife, I have a little thing I have to do. I'll do the cheeseburger with you next week, or something.
MARCIA
(smiling; crushing cigarette in ashtray; standing up)
Story of my life!
EXT. a park - Day
Larry and Carol by a big fountain -- the water splashing behind them as they converse.
LARRY
(incredulous)
What do you mean, you snuck into his apartment? Are you nuts?
CAROL
Oh, stop being such a fuddy-dud.
LARRY
A fuddy-dud?
Carol starts walking around the fountain. Larry follows her.
CAROL
Yeah.
LARRY
What are you talking about? That's a crime. You can't do that. You... That's-That's burglary, and breaking and entering. But... What has gotten into you lately? For crying out loud, save a little craziness for menopause.
CAROL
It was a cinch. I took the key and I just let myself in.
LARRY
Hey, look. Do... I don't want to... You-You'll wind up rooming with John Gotti. You can't do that. You can't just steal the key and then go into somebody's apartment.
CAROL
Listen. He's not going snorkeling with his brother, okay? Okay?
LARRY
I don't wanna know. I don't wanna be an accessory.
CAROL
He's going to Paris, to a fancy hotel with a woman named Helen Moss.
LARRY
Tell Ted. I don't want to know. Leave me alone.
CAROL
I told Ted.
LARRY
You told Ted before you told me?
CAROL
Yeah. Well -- he's more open-minded about these things.
LARRY
Yes, I know. I'm - I'm-I'm a bore. I'm -- Because I - Because I don't break the law, you know?
CAROL
Yeah.
LARRY
I live within the Constitution, so I'm dull.
CAROL
Listen. Perhaps he got rid of the urn, okay?
LARRY
I-I don't wanna hear. Leave me alone. Don't tell me.
CAROL
He talked on the phone with a woman.
LARRY
How do you know?
CAROL
Because he... Well, he came back while I was there, you know, so...
LARRY
(letting out a loud, shocked, scandalized GASP)
Huuuhhhh??!!! He did?
CAROL
Yeah, but I hid under the bed.
LARRY
You hid under his bed?
CAROL
He didn't see me, Larry. He didn't see me at all.
LARRY
I cannot believe this. My stomach is curdling, here I...
CAROL
He was - He was very lovey-dovey with this kind of bimbo, you know? He kept saying stuff like, you know, "don't worry, it's gonna be all right. We're gonna be together." That kind of thing.
LARRY
But what would you have done if he, if he found you out?
CAROL
I know, listen, I-I couldn't think that far ahead.
LARRY
That far ahead? You're talking two seconds.
CAROL
No, I--
LARRY
He could have looked under the bed and there you are. What do you...
CAROL
Yeah, but... Larry, listen. And then, listen to this. He-He called this woman back. Probably this-this Helen Moss woman, right?
LARRY
I don't wanna know. Leave me alone.
CAROL
And when he calls her back, she's not there. And then he leaves this message, and he says: "Tell her Tom called." You know what I'm saying? Tom. Tom, Larry.
LARRY
Yeah, yeah. I... I know, I get it, his name is Paul, but I don't care. I don't wanna hear.
CAROL
Well, okay. Well, I'll tell you. I thought I did...
LARRY
I just don't...
CAROL
I thought I did a great job, and so did Ted. I don't think a private eye could have done any better than me. I put everything back where I found it, I was very careful. I made one mistake.
LARRY
What?
CAROL
I left my reading glasses on his table.
-30-
About a year or so ago, while taking a hike on You Tube, I thought I should listen to the jazz music of Dave Brubeck. And I really had no idea why: I didn't know why that name looked familiar to me after I listened to some other jazz-related music and "Dave Brubeck Take Five" appeared nearby on the screen.
There's a Dave Brubeck album, Time Out, and a Take Five album, and "Take Five" the song. When I listened to the song "Take Five" it sounded familiar, and I didn't know why. Now, as I look at the musical pieces used in Manhattan Murder Mystery, I realize I must have recognized that tune from this movie.
In the "Take Five" restaurant scene, the music is perfectly low, so it doesn't interfere with the dialogue. Brubeck's notes trickle and gently splash around the conversation and the scene.
_________________________________________
INT. Larry's office - Day
MARCIA
You know, you're the only editor in the world I'll take suggestions from, but even you shouldn't push it.
LARRY
No, I'm not pushing it. I think the book is great. Absolutely great. You know, but, uh... how much, how much of Dorothy is you? As I was reading it, I kept thinking how much is... you know, how much did you base it on your own life?
MARCIA
Well, I was a waitress. I lived with a poet. I was a film critic.
LARRY
Right, but not -- not a blackjack dealer, right?
MARCIA
No, but I put myself through school playing poker.
LARRY
Oh, really? Do you still play?
MARCIA
No, but I still know how.
LARRY
Yes? Are you good?
MARCIA
Yeah.
LARRY
Yeah, because maybe you could give me some pointers.
MARCIA
I could turn your game around in two hours.
LARRY
Could you? That's great. That's... you know, you-you have all these skills, and you're beautiful, and you can write so well... and now it turns out you play poker. This is, uh, too good to be true.
MARCIA
Well, I wouldn't say beautiful.
LARRY
Oh, I would.
MARCIA
But I do have tremendous sex appeal.
LARRY
(with a light laugh in his tone)
Okay, yah sold me! Are - are you seeing anybody?
MARCIA
No. Don't let my confidence fool you, it's a facade. Why do you ask?
LARRY
Because I have a friend who became single recently, and I-I know he would get a big kick out of you.
MARCIA
Oh. So, when do you want your poker lessons?
LARRY
Uh, next week. I could take you to lunch. We could -- we could, um, I'll put you on my expense account, and you could... teach me when to... bet and when to fold.
MARCIA
How about a cheeseburger right now?
-------------------------------------------------
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