how about a cheeseburger right now?

The phone rings.

LARRY
Now?  That's a possibility.

                          He picks up the phone.

LARRY
You know, we could, we could do...
(talking into the telephone)
Hello.  Yes?  Where are you?

CAMERA PANS back to Marcia, sitting on chair, smoking cigarette.

LARRY
Is everything okay?  Really?  No, I could, sure.

                          PAN -- back to Larry

LARRY
I could.  Yeah.  I need-I need, you know, five minutes, or so.  Okay.  Yes.  Yes.  I know where it is.  Okay, hold on.

LARRY
(hangs up phone)
I can't do it.  I have to... My wife, I have a little thing I have to do.  I'll do the cheeseburger with you next week, or something.

MARCIA
(smiling; crushing cigarette in ashtray; standing up)
Story of my life!

EXT.  a park - Day

Larry and Carol by a big fountain -- the water splashing behind them as they converse.

LARRY
(incredulous)
What do you mean, you snuck into his apartment?  Are you nuts?

CAROL
Oh, stop being such a fuddy-dud.

LARRY
A fuddy-dud?

                    Carol starts walking around the fountain.  Larry follows her.

CAROL
Yeah.

LARRY
What are you talking about?  That's a crime.  You can't do that.  You... That's-That's burglary, and breaking and entering.  But... What has gotten into you lately?  For crying out loud, save a little craziness for menopause.

CAROL
It was a cinch.  I took the key and I just let myself in.

LARRY
Hey, look.  Do... I don't want to... You-You'll wind up rooming with John Gotti.  You can't do that.  You can't just steal the key and then go into somebody's apartment.

CAROL
Listen.  He's not going snorkeling with his brother, okay?  Okay?

LARRY
I don't wanna know.  I don't wanna be an accessory.

CAROL
He's going to Paris, to a fancy hotel with a woman named Helen Moss.

LARRY
Tell Ted.  I don't want to know.  Leave me alone.

CAROL
I told Ted.

LARRY
You told Ted before you told me?

CAROL
Yeah.  Well -- he's more open-minded about these things.

LARRY
Yes, I know.  I'm - I'm-I'm a bore.  I'm -- Because I - Because I don't break the law, you know?

CAROL
Yeah.

LARRY
I live within the Constitution, so I'm dull.

CAROL
Listen.  Perhaps he got rid of the urn, okay?

LARRY
I-I don't wanna hear.  Leave me alone.  Don't tell me.

CAROL
He talked on the phone with a woman.

LARRY
How do you know?

CAROL
Because he... Well, he came back while I was there, you know, so...

LARRY
(letting out a loud, shocked, scandalized GASP)
Huuuhhhh??!!!  He did?

CAROL
Yeah, but I hid under the bed.

LARRY
You hid under his bed?

CAROL
He didn't see me, Larry.  He didn't see me at all.

LARRY
I cannot believe this.  My stomach is curdling, here I...

CAROL
He was - He was very lovey-dovey with this kind of bimbo, you know?  He kept saying stuff like, you know, "don't worry, it's gonna be all right.  We're gonna be together."  That kind of thing.

LARRY
But what would you have done if he, if he found you out?

CAROL
I know, listen, I-I couldn't think that far ahead.

LARRY
That far ahead?  You're talking two seconds.

CAROL
No, I--

LARRY
He could have looked under the bed and there you are.  What do you...

CAROL
Yeah, but... Larry, listen.  And then, listen to this.  He-He called this woman back.  Probably this-this Helen Moss woman, right?

LARRY
I don't wanna know.  Leave me alone.

CAROL
And when he calls her back, she's not there.  And then he leaves this message, and he says:  "Tell her Tom called."  You know what I'm saying?  Tom.  Tom, Larry.

LARRY
Yeah, yeah.  I... I know, I get it, his name is Paul, but I don't care.  I don't wanna hear.

CAROL
Well, okay.  Well, I'll tell you.  I thought I did...

LARRY
I just don't...

CAROL
I thought I did a great job, and so did Ted.  I don't think a private eye could have done any better than me.  I put everything back where I found it, I was very careful.  I made one mistake.

LARRY
What?

CAROL
I left my reading glasses on his table.

-30-