your theater is empty all the time anyway...

LARRY
Oh, yes.  Max Schindler's book.  That's right, the phone call.

CAROL
(voice over)
I don't remember that book.

LARRY
This is perfect.

CAROL
You never mentioned that book to me.

LARRY
No, no.  Because you don't like light reading, so I never...

CAROL
Since when did I not like light reading, Larry?

TED
I don't know...  I don't know this book.  What is this book?

LARRY
This book.  That's fantastic!  It would be so perfect because sh- she's a, she's a- an, actress, or would-be actress, anyhow, and you're - you're... 

     Jeez, we could use his theater.  He's a playwright.  This is so perfect.  Your theater is empty all the time, anyhow.


CAROL
Oh, God.

TED
Oh, yeah, thank you.  That's great.  What-What are we talking about here?  What-What do you mean?  What - what is this?

LARRY
Listen to this.  What you do is, we get her in for a fake audition, and you write some lines that -- don't mean anything.

TED
Yeah.

LARRY
And she does them, and she doesn't know what she's doing and we tape-record it.

CAROL
Uh...

LARRY
Listen to this.

CAROL
I'm listening.

LARRY
And we edit it up.  We edit the tape recording up, and we make one end of a phone call -- and we play it into the phone to Mr. House.

TED
This is in the book?

LARRY
This is perfect, listen...

CAROL
Oh, come on.  No, that could never, ever work, in a million years.  You don't know what he's going to say.  What's he gonna say?

MARCIA
In the book, they use several tape recorders.

CAROL
In the book?

MARCIA
We coordinate it.

LARRY
It's coordinated.

CAROL
In the book.  You mean, you're basing your plan on some dumb paperback?

LARRY
This is great.  This is great.

CAROL
I see--  No, really.

LARRY
I like... No, it's great.

CAROL
Oh.

MARCIA
He's gotten away with murder.  Our only chance is to nab him as he tries to kill again, to cover his tracks.

                            MEDIUM SHOT on two waiters, standing on either side of a counter, listening to the conversation, and staring.

LARRY
It's great.  What happens is, it provokes him to kill again.  They catch him the second time.

MARCIA
Exactly.  He's gotten away with the first murder.

LARRY
You know what I'm thinking, though?

MARCIA
What?

LARRY
Actually, in the book what happens is, now that I think of it, he-- he kills the... the two people that are working the scheme on him.

TED
Yeah, that's all right.

CAROL
But --

TED
But you're not worried about that.

LARRY
Um, well, I don't know.

MARCIA
It's perfect.

LARRY
Either that, or I've -- I'm just...

TED
No, we can handle him.  We can handle him.  Listen, this is incredible.  This is an incredible idea.

MARCIA
It's perfect.  It's perfect.  He knows you're onto him.  You shake him down.

CAROL
No, no.

MARCIA
He comes after you, we nab him.

TED
That's great.  It's great.  You're wonderful.  I just -- I'm amazed.

MARCIA
Yeah.

CAROL
I... I just...

MARCIA
It's either that, or he walks.

CAROL
Yeah.  Yeah, wait.  I...  So, what you're saying is...

TED
This is great.

CAROL
Wait, no, okay... What you're saying -- Oh boy.  You're saying, you want to provoke Mr. House into trying to murder Larry and me.

MARCIA
Yeah.  It's perfect.  You're not scared, are you?

LARRY
No, no, no, no, no, I'm not scared.  I'm not scared.  I'm just turning it over in my mind.  I just want to check with my clergyman before we commit.

________________________

Manhattan Murder Mystery.
1993.
Directed by Woody Allen.
Produced by Robert Greenhut.
Written by Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman.
Starring
Alan Alda
Woody Allen
Anjelica Huston
Diane Keaton.
1993.

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