Thursday, December 26, 2019

walk like a camel






At the beginning of Woodward and Bernstein's book, All The President's Men, there's a "Cast of Characters."

THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
Richard M. Nixon

THE PRESIDENT'S MEN
Alfred C. Baldwin III        Security guard, Committee for the Re-election of the President (CRP)
Alexander P. Butterfield        Deputy Assistant to the President; aide to H.R. Haldeman
John J. Caulfield        



Staff aide to John Ehrlichman
Dwight L. Chapin        Deputy Assistant to the President; appointments secretary
Kenneth W. Clawson        Deputy Director of Communications, the White House
Charles W. Colson



Special Counsel to the President
Kenneth H. Dahlberg        Midwest Finance Chairman, CRP
John W. Dean III



Counsel to the President
John D. Ehrlichman        Assistant to the President for Domestic Affairs
L. Patrick Gray III        Acting Director, FBI
H.R. Haldeman        Assistant to the President; White House Chief of Staff
E. Howard Hunt, Jr.        Consultant to the White House
Herbert W. Kalmbach        Deputy Finance Chairman, CRP; personal attorney to the President
Henry A. Kissinger        Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs


Richard G. Kleindienst        Attorney General of the United States
Egil Korgh, Jr.        Deputy Assistant to the President for Domestic Affairs; aide to Ehrlichman
Frederick C. LaRue        Deputy Director, CRP; aide to John Mitchell
G. Gordon Liddy        Finance Counsel, CRP; former aide on John Ehrlichman's staff
Clark MacGregor        Campaign Director, CRP
Jeb Stuart Magruder        Deputy Campaign Director, CRP, former Haldeman aide and Deputy Director of White House Communications
Robert C. Mardian



Political Coordinator, CRP; former Assistant Attorney General
John N. Mitchell        Campaign Director, CRP; former Attorney General
Powell Moore        Deputy Press Director, CRP; former White House press aide
Robert C. Odle, Jr.        Director of Administration and Personnel, CRP; former White House staff aide
Kenneth W. Parkinson        Attorney  CRP

Herbert L. Porter        Scheduling Director, CRP; former aide to Haldeman
Kenneth Rietz        Youth Director, CRP
Donald H. Segretti



Attorney
Devan L. Shumway        Director of Public Affairs, CRP; former White House press aide
Hugh W. Sloan, Jr.        Treasurer, CRP; former aide to Haldeman
Maurice H. Stans        Finance Chairman, CRP; former Secretary of Commerce
Gordon C. Strachan        Staff assistant to Haldeman

Gerald Warren        Deputy Press Secretary to the President
David R. Young        Staff assistant, National Security Council; aide to Henry Kissinger, John Ehrlichman
Ronald L. Ziegler        Press Secretary to the President


THE BURGLARS
Bernard L. Barker
Virgilio R. Gonzalez
Eugenio R. Martinez
James W. McCord, Jr.
Frank A. Sturgis



THE PROSECUTION
Henry E. Petersen        Assistant Attorney General
Earl J. Silbert        Assistant U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia; chief prosecutor
Donald E. Campbell        Assistant U.S. Attorney
Seymour Glanzer        Assistant U.S. Attorney

THE JUDGE
John J. Sirica        



Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia

THE WASHINGTON POST
Katharine Graham        Publisher
Benjamin C. Bradlee        Executive Editor



Howard Simons        Managing Editor
Harry M. Rosenfeld        Metropolitan Editor
Barry Sussman        District of Columbia Editor

THE SENATOR
Sam J. Ervin, Jr.        Chairman, Senate Watergate Committee

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_______________________________

All the President's Men, by Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward.  1974.  Simon & Schuster.

_____________________________

You walk into the room
With your pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked
And you say, "Who is that man?"
You try so hard
But you don't understand
Just what you'll say
When you get home

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?


You raise up your head
And you ask, "Is this where it is?"
And somebody points to you and says
"It's his"
And you say, "What's mine?"
And somebody else says, "Where what is?"
And you say, "Oh my God
Am I here all alone?"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?


You hand in your ticket
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, "How does it feel 
To be such a freak?"
And you say, "Impossible"
As he hands you a bone

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?


       You have many contacts
       Among the lumberjacks
       To get you facts
       When someone attacks your imagination
       But nobody has any respect
       Anyway they already expect - you -
       To just give a check
       To -- tax-deductible charity organizations


You've been with the professors
And they've all liked your looks
With great lawyers you have 
Discussed lepers and crooks
You've been through all of
F. Scott Fitzgerald's books
You're very well read
It's well known

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?


Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, "Here is your throat back
Thanks for the loan"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?


Now you see this one-eyed midget
Shouting the word "NOW"
And you say, "For what reason?"
And he says, "How?"
And you say, "What does this mean?"
And he screams back, "You'e a cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?


Well, you walk into the room
Like a camel and then you frown
You put your eyes in your pocket
And your nose on the ground
There ought to be a law
Against you comin' around
You should be made
To wear earphones

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

_____________________________________

"Ballad of a Thin Man" - Song 5 on the first side of the Highway 61 Revisited album by Bob Dylan



___________________________________

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