On You Tube I saw a video where the narrator listed and described "red flags" to look for in a person you are thinking about dating -- when you see the red flags, you stop thinking about dating them.
The idea seemed to be -- spot the danger, or potential problems and cut off the relationship early, or before it starts, so that they don't wind up going through some horrific insane-abusive-divorce-child-custody-hellscape.
I think this would be a difficult skill to learn, for a lot of people, because when people meet, they are not looking for negatives, or "red flags." They are typically looking for the opposite of that -- they're tuned in to notice things about the other person that they like.
There's music playing; other people are around; it's a festive atmosphere... it isn't conducive to meticulous scanning for -- selfishness, lack of hobbies or interest in the world... sociopathy...
-------------------------- comments under the video:
AJ Roy
The problem is that 99% of women I meet have at least 6-7 of those red flags. I feel like it's impossible to be with someone totally sane nowadays.
Mario Rodriguez
Nobody's perfect bro, especially us as guys.
AJ Roy
Never said I was perfect but I sure have less mental issues than 99% of girls I saw on dating apps.
RedGibsonsRock
86) She tries to run you over in a parking lot, three or more times. You got to take that seriously. It could be a sign.
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