Off and on, through recent years, I've wondered if I should do something the opposite way around: when I encounter people, in various life situations, I pretty much trust them and like them, up front, until --and if -- they give me a reason not to. I realized this about myself, and then in relation to one particular situation, but then branching out to include all, I thought, maybe I should do it the other way around.
Automatically withhold liking, and trust, and wait and let the person earn it.
(Hello?! -- some people probably think that's a no-brainer....)
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People who meet me start with a "savings account" with "money" (figuratively speaking) in it. Then if they work down my trust and affection, then they've "spent the money." The account's empty.
I've wondered if maybe a person would get hurt less often if they let people start with an empty account, instead of the way I do it.
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Another thing I've been contemplating is how people stereotype things. None of my friends would have recommended by current job for me -- they wouldn't be able to "see" it. They could "see" (imagine) me working in a women's clothing store (most boring job I've ever had -- and I'm a person who doesn't get bored -- but in that case had to make an exception....).
The other thing is, with regard to the company where I work, people I've known for a long time have stereotypes but no facts about this type of business -- I'm not putting them down for having stereotypes, just recognizing what appears to be true.
And the thing is, the older and more successful people become in Life, the less information they really need.
When I consider some of the men these people encouraged me to date, it should come as no surprise that they have no accurate perspective on jobs - !
Try this theory:
When it comes to Advice From Your Friends, at best it stems from wishful thinking; at worst it's complete crap.
-30-
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