Friday, February 8, 2013

I'd rather be Cerf-ing


There's a book written by Bennett Cerf, called, Try and Stop Me.  (A Collection of, Anecdotes and Stories, Mostly Humorous).  Published in 1944, it's interesting, to me, on a couple of different levels -- sometimes, "Ha ha, that was funny!" and at other times, "Huh -- that's what people thought was funny -- back then."  And at still other times -- "...Oh."

In Chapter Ten, entitled "This, Gentlemen, Is History!", Cerf writes about mayors of New York City...
---------------------- [excerpt]----------- First there was John Hylan, who escorted Queen Marie of Rumania on a tour up Fifth Avenue.  "What a wonderful avenue," exclaimed Her Majesty.  "You said a mouthful, Queen," agreed His Honor.

Hylan seldom bothered to read speeches that trusted ghosts prepared for him ahead of time.  In the middle of one speech he came to the phrase, "That reminds me of one of my favorite stories about a traveling salesman."  It developed that the Mayor had never heard the joke before, and when he finished reading it, he laughed so hard he broke his glasses.  The chairman of the dinner had to finish the speech for him.

...While Mayor Jimmie Walker answered, when asked by a publisher to name his ten favorite novels, "Son, I never read a book in my life!", the next NYC Mayor, John P. O'Brien, was said to have told delighted reporters that he was "a slave to literature."  Also, he endeared himself to his constituents when he referred to "that scientist of scientists, Albert Weinstein."...

[blogger's note:  LaGuardia's first name was Fiorello, which can mean "Little Flower" in Italian....]

Mayor LaGuardia, the present incumbent, rates a whole book for himself, but as long as he's mayor of the town we all work in, I'd better be careful.  Besides, he officiated at my marriage, and I owe him a debt of gratitude.  He whipped through the ceremony in three seconds flat, mumbled, "Don't blame me for anything that happens," and was off -- probably to attend a fire. 

Here's one nice story about him.  He presides occasionally in Police Court.  One bitter cold day they brought a trembling old man before him, charged with stealing a loaf of bread.  His family, he said, was starving.  "I've got to punish you," declared LaGuardia.  "The law makes no exception.  I can do nothing but sentence you to a fine of ten dollars."

But the Little Flower was reaching into his pocket as he added, "Well, here's the ten dollars to pay your fine.  And now I remit the fine."  He tossed a ten-dollar bill into his famous sombrero.  "Furthermore," he declared, "I'm going to fine everybody in this courtroom fifty cents for living in a town where a man has to steal bread in order to eat.

Mr. Bailiff, collect the fines and give them to this defendant!"-------------------

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{Try And Stop Me, by Bennett Cerf.  Copyright, 1945.  Simon and Schuster, New York, N.Y.}

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