Arabia

Last time writing on this blog, was honoring the story-telling of Rudyard Kipling. He lived from 1865 to 1936. English --
so much lasting, quality literature came out of England. Rudyard Kipling; Jane Austen; Sir Arthur Conan Doyle -- songwriting (The Beatles, the Stones...).
England and America: we contribute a lot of art and culture to the world.

When we first started hearing about Muslim problems in the world -- Ayatollah Khomeini, and the subsequent delinquents -- when problems exploding out of that part of the world in the form of bizarre and (it seemed) sort of mindless hostility and destructionism (?) -- I used to think, Those people don't do anything. They don't contribute any art or culture -- anything to bring people up. They just kill other people and each other and make up dumb rules to justify bullying and cruel behavior. I used to think, the wealth they have is just from oil, and they didn't earn or create that. They just Have it. (Like the guy who doesn't know how to make money, but darn well knows how to inherit it...)

I mean, what do they contribute that's positive??

They can be creative, though. Before 911, (some time between 1997 and 2001, I'm going to estimate) the Chamber of commerce in the community where I live had an event and the Entertainment was a middle-eastern comedian.

(First time any of us, probably, had seen that -- certainly the first time, in person...) [I wondered What is this guy going to joke about??] -- Well, his own culture, that's what.

He wore a suit (not robes or anything like that), and talked and story-told and riffed on middle eastern rage and he would punctuate his monologue with the phrase "Holy war!!" And when he said those words, he didn't really say them, he would throw his head back and sort of shriek / wail heavenward, "Holy war!!!!"

I think at first we were a little afraid to laugh because it seemed like he was joking about something very serious and scary, and also it seemed "incorrect," like you're being intolerant, laughing at their "culture."

But the guy was hilarious, and everyone ended up laughing. (As I said before, the World Trade Center towers were still -- up. So it was a bit of a different "era.")

He would go, with exaggerated middle-east accent and wild emphasis,
"Your tribe is different from my tribe! We cannot tolerate you -- HOLY - WAR!" (Sort of howling / shrieking the words holy war...)
And --
"The economy is bad, food is too expensive -- HOLY - WAR!!"
"Traffic in our city is too congested -- HOLY - WAR!!"
"The dry cleaner ruined my coat -- HOLY - WAR!!"

And he had little stories and build-ups in between that made it very good -- this is only the gist.

He was funny -- and I thought about him a few days after September 11th, in 2001 -- sitting at my desk in my home office, it struck me: that guy is going to have to write a whole new act, because "holy war" isn't going to be funny -- for a while.
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Thinking of that made me recall another joke from that era. Sometime in 2002, I think someone told me this one: a terrorist, Achmed something, was planning a big explosion, tied a bomb to his body, and he had been inspired by the people who trained him: they said he would be greeted, upon reaching heaven, by three virgins.

Ahh. So he carries out the bombing and arrives in Heaven and first thing you know, he meets George Washington. Soon, into the room comes Thomas Jefferson, and a minute after that, James Madison.

So Achmed is standing here with Madison, Jefferson, and Washington, and he realizes he's meeting historical figures, but he's really more interested in -- Where Are The Virgins?!

But pretty soon they have to explain to Achmed, he misunderstood -- it was three Virginians who were greeting him after his death . ...
(People in Roanoke think that's very funny...)

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