Friday, August 24, 2012

up the standards

...And speaking of Pat Paulsen, the Wikipedia organization has a readable post about the comedian's life and finishes it off with a list of some of his jokes & lines, including the following, and a person should imagine these lines being said in a very serious, not intense but slightly sad, or weary, style:  deadpan -----------

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"All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian."



On network censorship: "I feel proud to be living in a country where people are not afraid to laugh at themselves and where political satire is tolerated by the government, if not the television network."



"I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration. I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News." 

On the Miranda warning: "Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business."


"A good many people feel that our present draft laws are unjust. These people are called soldiers."


Presidential campaign slogan: "I've upped my standards. Now, up yours."



"I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird."


"Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them."

When asked if he believed in the right to bear arms: "No, I believe in the right to arm bears."


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And some people say Norwegians don't have a sense of humor. ...

A lobbyist said that to me, actually -- after a state of the state address given by the governor in 1990, or 91 maybe -- I said I expected the speech to be more -- I don't know, entertaning, or something, with some relevant wit, like Kennedy -- the lobbyist said, "Oh no, he's like that; they're -- they're Norwegian."

(And that guy was German!--he's one to talk....)

-30-


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