it's never something you do

"Breaking up is hard to do" was, I think, the name of a song;
you could also title a song on that topic, "Breaking up bums people out."

In Sally Bedell Smith's book about the Kennedy White House, she wrote that JFK knew that in politics you don't have friends, you have allies.  Might be same, in Life, not just in politics....

...(In the movie Nixon, Pres. Nixon treats his wife well.  Oh, the couple can get a little growly if they're having a disagreement / discussion...but mostly he's nice to her.  He says to her, "I asked you to marry me on our first date, didn't I?  I said it because I knew.  You -- were everything."
[gazing at her with intensity, both passionate and gentle, careful]:
 "So solid.  So strong.  So beautiful.")...

================
================  Woody Allen addresses break-up mysteries in the film Annie Hall:

ANNIE:  I just think we oughta call this relationship quits!

Annie gets into the cab; Alvy leans over and closes the door.

ALVY:  That's fine.  That's fine.  That's great!
(He turns toward the camera as the cab drives away)
Well, I don't know what I did wrong.
I mean, I can't believe this.  Somewhere she cooled off to me!

(He walks up to an older woman walking down the street carrying groceries)
Is it -- is it something that I did?

WOMAN ON THE STREET:  It's never something you do.  That's how people are.  Love fades.

She moves on down the street.

ALVY:  (scratching his head)  Love fades.  God, that's a depressing thought.  Have to ask you a question. 
(He stops another passer-by, a man)
Don't go any further.  Now, with your wife in bed, does -- does she need some kind of artificial stimulation like - like marijuana?

MAN ON THE STREET:  We use a large vibrating egg.

He walks on.

ALVY:  (continuing to walk)  Large vibrating egg.  Well, I ask a psychopath, I get that kind of an answer.  Jesus, I-I, uh, here ...

(He moves up the sidewalk to a young trendy-looking couple, arms wrapped around each other)
You -- you look like a really happy couple.  Uh, uh ... are you?

YOUNG WOMAN:  Yeah.

ALVY:  Yeah!  So ... so h-h-how do you account for it?

YOUNG WOMAN:  Uh, I'm very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.

YOUNG MAN:  And I'm exactly the same way.

ALVY:  I see.  Well, that's very interesting.  So you've managed to work out something, huh?

MAN:  Right.
WOMAN:  Yeah.
ALVY:  Oh, well, thanks very much for talking to me.

He continues to walk past some other passersby and moves into the street.  A mounted policeman comes by and stops near him.  Alvy looks at the horse, as if he's going to speak to it.

ALVY'S VOICE-OVER:  You know, even as a kid I always went for the wrong women.  I think that's my problem.  When my mother took me to see Snow White, everyone fell in love with Snow White.  I immediately fell for the Wicked Queen.

========================
Seems like old times, having you to walk with
Old times -- having you to talk with
And it's still a thrill --
Just to have my arms around you,
Still the thrill that it was the day I found you

Seems like -- old times,
dinner dates and flowers
Just like old times -- staying up all hours,
Making dreams come true,
doing things we used to do...

Seems like -- old
times --
here...

with...

you....

[piano notes trailing - away - ...]

--------------------------------
{"Seems Like Old Times" -- written by Carmen Lombardo
and John Jacob Loeb.  First recorded by Guy Lombardo's
orchestra, Nov. 15, 1945, released -- Decca Records.
Diane Keaton sings it in 1977 film Annie Hall.}

-30-