Tuesday, December 23, 2014

can you please crawl out your window

INT.  Charlie Wilson's office - DAY

The assistant nicknamed "Jailbait" peeks in and addresses the congressman.

-- "Boss?"

Wilson -- "Yeah."  (he looks up)  "Hey, that's a nice sweater."

Miss "Bait" -- Oh, thank you.  The Washington Times wants to know if you've ever been in rehab.

-- Well what are you gonna tell them?

-- That you won't go to rehab 'cause they don't serve whiskey there.
-- Well that's why you're the press secretary, Boo-Boo!

Bonnie Bach looks in:  "I've got Stu on the line.  Can you jump on?"

Charlie -- Yeah.  (picks up phone)  Hey Stu, it's me.  (listens)  All right.  (listening)  No, she's not a stripper, Stu.  She just posed for the cover...(his mood and spirit seems to deflate, tired)  Oh -- what the hell difference does it make? 

His assistants have gathered in the office.

Bonnie -- They're talking to Crystal today.
Charlie -- Yeah.
Bonnie -- Giuliani subpoenaed the limo driver.

Charlie looks simultaneously thoughtful and slightly startled:  "Oh.  That's what Gus said he'd do."

Bonnie -- Well, the limo driver said he didn't see anything.

Charlie -- He didn't see anything!

Bonnie -- So Giuliani subpoenaed every limo driver between Arlington and Silver Spring to see if any of them can recall you using cocaine. 

[After a stern pause, on her way out of his office, she adds] -- "Joanne Herring's on the phone."

Charlie picks it up:  "Hey, you."
[Joanne's voice is heard through the phone] -- "We're all leavin' in the mornin'."

Charlie -- You're kidding?
-- No.
-- Well, what did you have to promise him?

Joanne -- There's a blind girl in jail 'cause she was raped.
Charlie -- Yeah.
Joanne -- You're gonna get her out.

-- What, I got to bust somebody out of jail?

-- Don't be stupid, Charlie.  You're gonna tell Zia to pardon her.  That's Doc's condition.  I'll fly in tonight.  Buy me a drink?

-- Yes ma'am.


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