you mean t' tell me...

The summer after senior year in high school I worked as a waitress (pity those customers!) at a summer resort: park service men would come in for coffee almsot daily. The coffee was some outstandingly low price, like 10- or 20-cents per cup. And of course most of them would order breakfast. (Is that the principle of the "loss-leader"...?)

The park service men would tell stories about tourists. (Since tourists supported the local economy, making fun of them was a bit of a pre-requisite...!?...) [All in fun; all-ll-ll in Fun.]

Buffalo roam the state park, following their own obscure "schedule." Their massively-maned, prehistoric heads fronting mysterious bodies, powerful in their stillness -- chocolate-brown, ageless eyes watchful.

The park service men often had a sense of the herd-movements of the buffalo -- they would be -- over to the west, or "in the trees." (It seemed like park service guys never said "woods," or "forest" -- they would refer to -- over in the trees, or "up in the trees," meaning -- up, on the side of the mountain, amongst the trees, or in the forest. ...)

One of our park service fellows told us once, there was this tourist from the east coast who approached him one day with what seemed almost like a demand -- to see some buffalo.

(Like -- we've gotta see the buffalo, take some pictures, and get-the-hell-outta-here, so we can get on to the next tourist thing on our list. ...)

("Hey, you're on vacation.")
But some "Type A" sorts don't adjust to that schedule so quickly. ...

Wondering how he would explain to the imposing east coast tourist that buffalo were not exactly ready-on-demand, our park service guy stalled for time, saying in his low-key style, "Well this morning, I think the buffalo --" (looking over to the thickly forested hill) "--are probably up in the trees."

Abruptly frowning and staring up into the branches of the nearest tree, the tourist's expression rapidly hit quizzical, then amazed, then incredulous, as he turned back to Park Service and said, "Do you mean to tell me, that those big animals get up in the trees??!...!"

We waitresses thought that was pretty damn funny.

"Buffalo -- climbing trees!"
"Roosting in the trees..."
"Swinging from branch to branch!..."
"Merrily swinging from branch to branch...!"

---------------------- I wish I had skill as a cartoonist: I would draw some trees with buffalo: two standing on the ground nearby; one climbing a tree; one sitting on a tree branch, and one or two -- swinging between the branches...

I told that story to tables of tourists all summer long, I think.

-30-