we should be so lucky

[she's seriously thinking of starting a little restaurant]

LARRY
Oh, she's a great cook, though, really.  Her duck and fennel omelette on a bed of scallops and hollandaise sauce with truffles and sweetbreads'll make you snap into a fetal position and have you in bed screaming for a month.

CAROL
He loves to tease me, but actually, he really loves exotic food.

LILLIAN 
My weakness is any rich dessert, cream, butter, anything with fat.

CAROL
Oh, really?  Oh well, let... listen... I'll fix you a dessert that'll make your eyeballs roll up.  You'll have to exercise for a month to work it off.

LILLIAN
Ah!

PAUL
We're going to Le Cirque for our anniversary.

CAROL
No, really?

LILLIAN
Yes.  Twenty-eight years.  November.

CAROL
Really?

PAUL
Well, what do you buy the woman who buys everything?

LILLIAN
We already have twin cemetery plots.

LARRY
Well, it's... I always think a Bentley is in good taste.  You know, or you can go the route that I went with her.  On our twentieth, I got her some very lovely handkerchiefs.


CAROL
Yeah.  Oh no, but, you know -- they had my initials on them.

LARRY
Yes, it was a very, very high-class item.  I didn't even know her size!

Carol bursts out laughing.

CUT TO:

Black Screen.

INT.  Larry and Carol Lipton's apartment - front hall - Night

We hear a door opening.

LARRY
Jesus, couldn't you keep the conversation going a little longer in there?

[Lights are turned on.]
He's holding the door for her as they enter.

LARRY
I was signaling you frantically.

                      He closes the door.

CAROL
I was just trying to be neighborly.

LARRY
Neighborly?  If this guy showed me his stamp collection one more time... I mean, my favorite thing in life is to, you know, look at canceled postage.

                         CAMERA follows Larry walking in the corridor toward:

INT.  Bedroom - Night

CAROL (voice over)
Oh, come on Larry -- it was sweet.  They, you know, they're looking forward to their anniversary.

                     Larry, taking his jacket off -- puts it on a chair.

LARRY
Yeah, and I'm looking forward to seeing that Bob Hope movie.  I don't know why they put it on so late.

                       CAMERA on Carol, still in the front hall.

CAROL
You know, do you think that's gonna happen to us?

LARRY (voice over)
What?

                   Carol walks down the corridor, toward the bedroom.

CAROL
Well, that we'll become like them.  You know -- just another dull, aging couple, you know, with our little walks, you know. ...

                      She enters the bedroom.

LARRY (voice over)
We are a dull aging couple.

CAROL
With our TV, our lox and bagels.  And... and our twin cemetery plots?

                     [Larry is seated on the bed.  Carol looks at some pill bottles on the night table.]

LARRY
No, we should be as lucky as them.  To, you know, to be in their physical shape, at their age?  They look great.  Did you see the dumbbells this guy lifts?  If I lifted dumbbells like those, I would get a hernia the size of the San Andreas Fault.


CAROL
How often do you think they make love?

                      She goes out of the main part of the room, and the CAMERA follows her.  She's taking her shoes off.


LARRY (voice over)
Oh, you know, probably more than we do, in their shape.  You know -- I'm sure as much as once a week.

CAROL
Larry?

LARRY (voice over)
I'm exhausted.  What?

CAROL
Do you still find me attractive?

LARRY
Of course.  What kind of question is that?  Of course I do.

                            Carol crosses the room.  In the shot is a large, round clock on the wall -- the kind of clock you see in an office or classroom.

CAROL
Yeah but we're not turning into a pair of comfortable old shoes, are we?  Do you think?

LARRY
(with a light laugh in his tone)
Never comfortable.

CAROL
No?

LARRY
I don't think you have to worry about that.

CUT.

EXT.  Market Place - Day

MED.-LONG SHOT:  outdoor antique and craft market, very colorful.

We hear the voices of Larry and Carol, and another couple with them, in Voice-Overs.

LARRY
How you guys doing?

SY
We're fine.

MARILYN
We're good.

SY
We like that.  We're gonna get this one.

MARILYN
That's very nice, actually.

LARRY
So -- umh --

MARILYN
Listen, are we going to see you at Elaine's Thursday?

CAROL
Oh, no.  Thursday's our Wagner opera.

                          ["Vog - ner"]

MED. SHOT:  Larry, Carol, Sy and Marilyn, standing.

MARILYN
Uh..uhm... you know -- Ted's coming to Elaine's with us.

CAROL
Ted.

MARILYN
Yeah.

CAROL
How is Ted?

MARILYN
He's... he seems to be doing well.  I mean, I... I actually think he's glad... I think he's glad he's divorced.

SY
Well, I don't think he's... no, he's not doing... Come on, he's not doing well at all.  He's not used to it.

MARILYN
Well he looks... I think he looks, you know, like he's glad.

                        Sy looks at some of the arts and crafts items displayed on a nearby vendor's stand.

SY
Yeah, yeah.  This.

LARRY
So what do you want to do?  You guys gonna browse, or...

SY
No, we're gonna go to a movie.

MARILYN
Yeah, we're gonna go see Double Indemnity.

CAROL
Oh, really?

MARILYN
Yeah.

SY
Why don't you come with us?

__________________________________

{Manhattan Murder Mystery, 1993.  Directed by Woody Allen.}

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