Wednesday, January 9, 2019

beat it down to the morgue





CAROL
Well, I didn't...

LARRY
Sleep!  I command it!

CAROL
No, I--

LARRY
I command it!  Sleep!

CAROL
Larry, all I can tell you is, if this had been a few years ago, you would have been doing the same thing.  Because if you recall, we solved a mystery!  Yep, we solved a mystery once.  Remember?  It was the -- it was the noises in the attic mystery.

LARRY
Uh, yes.  The country house.  The bluebird.  I know.

CAROL
That's right.  So...

LARRY
But that, though, was a sweet mystery.  This is murder.

CAROL
This... Wh...  You agree, right?  It's murder, Larry?  So, I'm right.



                         She opens the front door and walks out of the apartment.

LARRY
No, I... Yeah, look, no, I-I forbid you!  I forbid you to go!  It's a-a... I'm forbidding!  Is that what you do when I forbid you?  If-if that's what you...  I'm not going to be forbidding you a lot, if you do...

INT.  Landing and hallway - Night

Carol hurrying down the hall toward Paul's apartment, Larry behind her.  She tries key in the lock -- wrong key.

CAROL
Oh, damn it.

                        Larry puts his hands on her shoulders.

LARRY
Don't do this.  We should be asleep, now, in one of our many cuddling positions.


CAROL
Please, stop it, will you?  Please, be quiet, Larry.

LARRY
This is wrong.

CAROL
Be quiet.  You're gonna wake up the neighbors, okay?  Okay, I got it.  I got it.

                   She opens the door.

INT.  Paul's Living Room - Night

The door opens and Carol walks in, followed by Larry.

LARRY
This is no good.  I promise you, this can only lead to great unhappiness.



CAROL
Listen, Larry...  Relax, okay?

                  She closes the front door.

LARRY
Pl--I can't relax.  How can I relax?  I'm in a strange man's apartment in my, in my T-shirt and-and pajamas.

CAROL
Oh, don't worry about it.  All right, now Ted told me to try something here...  Yeah.


                      She rests her hands on the telephone, which is next to the lamp.


LARRY
What do you mean, Ted told you?  Who... Ted?  Ted?  What is he, your mentor?

                       CAMERA ZOOMS to a CLOSE SHOT on the telephone.  Carol picks up receiver.

CAROL
Um, 'Last number dialed'.

                      CAMERA ZOOMS back OUT to Carol with the phone to her ear.

LARRY
Ted is a sick schmuck.  He's -- He's home, and we're in...

CAROL
Just be quiet for a second, all right?

                       Listening on phone.

CAROL
Shhhh!



LARRY
I mean, I'm -- What if he comes back?  I'm... My heart is...

CAROL
Larry.

MALE VOICE-OVER FROM THE PHONE
Waldron.


CAROL
Uh, who?

MALE VOICE-OVER FROM PHONE
Who is this?  Who do you want?

CAROL
Um, who's this?

                        She puts her hand over the speaking end of the phone receiver and turns toward Larry.

CAROL
Do you know anybody named Waldron?  Waldron?

LARRY
Hang the phone up.

CAROL
Just be quiet.  Okay, wait.

LARRY
Hang the phone up, now.

                        She puts the phone back to her ear.

CAROL
Oh, great.  Now they -- they hung up on us.


LARRY
Good, good.

                            He takes the receiver and puts it back.




CAROL
Oh, great.

LARRY
Let's get out.  I wanna go home.  I want to go back to bed.

CAROL
No, just let me think for a second, now.  Waldron, right?  Helen Moss.  Okay.  He used the name Tom, right?  So, Tom Waldron.  We gotta run a check on that.

LARRY
Run a check on it?  What, do you want to beat it down to the morgue?  You've got all the jargon.

CAROL
Come on.

                                She walks away from the phone table.

LARRY
Where are you going?

CAROL
Right.

INT.  Paul's bedroom - Night

Carol and Larry enter.



LARRY
I'm not a night person.  I don't wanna be...  What are you -- I don't know what I'm looking for.

CAROL
 Oh, oh, wait.  Look.

                             She starts looking through the mail scattered on a table.

LARRY
What?  What -- do you wanna do, go through the guy's mail?  This is insane.

                                He starts looking through the mail.

__________________________________

  {Manhattan Murder Mystery.  Written by Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman.  Produced by Robert Greenhut.  Directed by Woody Allen.  Starring Alan Alda, Woody Allen, Anjelica Huston, Diane Keaton.  Distributed by TriStar Pictures.}



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